oh well

the thing is that i don’t get it. i never seem able to get it, though i’ve been shown so many times that i tire myself out... sometimes i have this weird feeling of total uselessness and it’s so painful to get it over and over again, more often than not lately. i wish I could understand. i wish i could ask and get an answer. but neither my words are straight, nor will the answer be. the choice is always biased. my whole being revolves around a few words and i feel needy and ashamed. i just curl on the inside wherever the chance finds me and smiles and buses seem so far away right now.